I was just reading my last two posts and realized it's been September since I blogged...holy cow! It's now October 8...so much for trying to keep up with it! Here's the problem...Facebook! I was against things like Facebook and MySpace for ages b/c one of my teenage neices had gotten into some minor trouble with it so I thought they were evil places where only sexually crazed teenagers (and pedophiles) and losers hang out. But then I kept getting emails from my friends requesting I join Facebook. I denied it for a couple of months, but one day this past August I could deny no more. I got curious and quite frankly tired of the requests bombarding me. So I decided to join Facebook to see what all the fuss was about. It took me a couple of days to navigate myself around it and figure out how exactly it works. I kept posting status messages, one after the other, of random thoughts I was having, not realizing that they were sent to all of my "friends" pages...they sure did get bombarded by those thoughts that first week...LOL! But now I've figured out how it works and have grown to love Facebook. I've found some old friends I haven't talked to in a couple of years and some have found me...it's really great. But, it's too addicting which is why I don't blog often. I'm on Facebook tooling around reading other people's pages, looking at their pictures, posting messages, etc. Next thing I know I've burned an hour (or more) doing all this and guess what...no time to blog now. The whole point of creating this blog was so I'd have a place I could vent and/or talk about my random thoughts.
Ok, on to a different subject altogether. Well, my son Ryan turned 5 yesterday. We were so busy entertaining him that I really never got a moment to sit down and absorb it all. It was an exciting day though. We picked him up early from school, took him for his favorite meal of fried chicken..he insists it have "bones"...not the strips or nuggets...and then off we were to Cox Farms for a fun-filled day at the pumpkin patch. There's nothing in life better than watching the joy on your children's faces when they're having a great time. And I'm so proud of him for braving the big slides that he was so afraid of when we first got there. He and Colin were so cute the whole day and thankfully I got some GREAT pictures.
But, Ryan is 5 now and it means he's graduated out of babyhood and into full on childhood. And it makes me sad b/c the day is getting closer that he will not want his mommy anymore. Where friends become more important and mommy isn't cool. We may be a few years away from all that but we're closer to it now than we were these last 5 years. I love who Ryan is now...he's so funny, witty, smart, goofy, and so much more, but I will always miss my "baby butter" the nickname I gave to him when he was just a little infant. Even though we named him Ryan, to me it didn't fit him when he was teenie, ya know? He was so fragile and sweet and soft...like a pad of butter. So that's what I called him, my baby butter, until Ryan finally felt right (a few months later). And still to this day I call him that b/c he will always be my baby butter. Incidentally, Colin's nickname was "sweet baby boy" now it's "Colin Wolin Bolin."
Each new stage of life brings something exciting and different (in good and bad ways) and watching my children grow up and experience these stages of life is the most rewarding thing in my life. And I am so grateful that I've been able to stay home with them and watch as they grow up. Even the bad moments (note previous posts) are really good moments b/c they're all stages we must complete in our journey of life. The spills, messes, boo boos, laughs, hurts...they're all part of life and are unavoidable, thus should be embraced (I should remember this next time I have to clean up pumpkin pancake mix that's all over the kitchen rug, the dog, Colin, etc.). I love my children more than anything in this entire world and being their mommy is the most important and precious gift God has ever given to me and I will always do my best to honor that gift. And I can't believe I've been a mommy for 5 years now...that "blows my head up" as Ryan would say :) It's been an incredibly fulfilling journey and the best years of my entire life.
Ok, time to snap out of it and back to reality...I hear Colin grunting in the corner...we know what that means! Poop patrol ON MY WAY!!!! Gosh I love this mommy thing!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
One Eye Open
We've all heard that moms sleep with one eye open and it's VERY true. My first born son, Ryan, has always slept in the bed with us (I'll save this story for another day) and I remember vividly waking up several times a night to make sure the covers were not over his head, a pillow wasn't smothering him, and that he wasn't being squished by Mike. And when he got older and could roll over and move around more, I'd have to check to make sure the pillow next to him was still there shielding him from falling on the floor (when Mike wasn't home). Like I said, Ryan is now almost 5 and I think I used the pillow as a shield until only a few months ago when I finally realized he wasn't going to fall on the floor...I still wake up to make sure though and will often move him towards the center of the bed. When you have an infant and later a child in the bed with you, somehow as a mother, you just know how to sleep safely with them...you position yourself in a way that, although may be uncomfortable for you, assures the safety for your child...and you stay PUT the entire night!
Well, when Colin was born I was bound and determined to keep him out of our bed (he wouldn't have fit in there anyways) so I sleep trained him from the beginning (something I'd never done w/Ryan b/c I didn't know I needed to). This was not easy and took 6 months before he finally settled down and slept through the night. The problem w/Colin was that he was borderline colicky/extremely fussy. It started 2 weeks after he was born. He never wanted to be put down for more than a few minutes so I couldn't get anything done...no cleaning, cooking...I was lucky to get a shower but it was always with a screaming Colin at the foot of the tub. He was just a very restless infant (still is today) who needed constant attention and couldn't stand to be alone. My neighbor had a baby boy the same time as I had Colin and he was exact opposite as Colin...easy going like you wouldn't believe...sometimes you wouldn't even notice him cause he was so quiet. She could put him on the floor and he'd lay there looking around for an hour and then fall asleep...this was never Colin. And nights with Colin were a total nightmare. For 6 months, I went to bed the same Colin did ever night b/c I never knew what our night might be like. 5 out of 7 nights were bad and exhausting. It wasn't so much that he was waking up and crying a ton...that wasn't really the problem. The problem was that trying to get him back down after nursing him was impossible. I'd nurse him for 1/2 hour (and I'd literally time this on my watch...15 min. each side) but could never put him right down afterwards. He'd be asleep but it was a restless sleep (he's always been a very restless child) and I could never put him down like that cause he'd wake up crying immediately. Instead, I'd have to rock him or sway back and forth until his body finally went limp...and this usually took 1/2 hour, so I'd be up with him for over an hour usually each time he woke up at night. It was the weirdest thing...he'd be asleep in my arms, but he'd be moving all over the place...kicking his legs, shrugging his shoulders, moving his head...it was crazy. And I relied heavily on routine during those days (still do). If I found one night that he went down ok after being limp for 10 minutes then literally I'd do it that way until it didn't work anymore. I counted 10 minutes in my head every night, several times a night when he was waking up multiples times to nurse. I couldn't use my watch cause of course the lights had to be off and I couldn't see it in the dark...so I had to count. It was crazy I know, but when you're desperate, you do crazy things. Remember how I used to time each side w/my watch? A few times I couldn't find my watch or it would drop on the floor and I'd just about freak out b/c it had to be exactly so many minutes per side (I nursed him w/the light on)...it was the only thing I could control during those days and if I lost it in any way, I'd freak until I got it back. Anyways, at 6 months, when he could finally sit up on his own and was eating solids, he finally slept through the night 7 days a week and he's been a GREAT night sleeper since (naps are a different story...another nightmare to this day...ask Julie).
But, when you've had a colicky baby, it literally leaves you mentally scarred and anytime your baby does something out of the ordinary it immediately brings you right back to those nightmarish days when there was no end in sight and you were beside yourself. It's been about 1.5 yrs since Colin and I braved through his first 6 months of life (and for me, I feel like we fought a battle together and won...prayer is the only thing that saved us) and you'd think by now I'd be mentally over those terribly difficult times. But, I'm not...I seriously have PTSD...it takes a huge toll on you. Every now and then Colin doesn't want to go into his crib at night and put himself to sleep...he wants me to rock him either to sleep or til he's really drowsy. And every now and then he'll wake up in the night and cry out...sometimes it's literally for a second and sometimes it lasts a minute or two. But whenever any of these things happen, my heart literally skips a beat (especially when it's the middle of the night). I can't help but think "oh no, are we going to have another sleepless night?" I know this isn't the case (that took me a while to figure out too), and that sometimes when he won't go down in his crib w/out being rocked that perhaps he just wants some snuggle time w/mommy. And I don't freak out as much as I used to about it, but I still get nervous. It happened just last night. Colin woke up at 3:39 am crying (really screaming) and I jumped up out of bed, ran to his door and just listened...literally praying to God that he'd work it out himself and I wouldn't have to go in there and get him back to sleep, b/c then I'm afraid that all our hard work getting him to sleep on his own would be ruined and we'd have to start all over...and I know this is ludicrous and not true, but I can't help feeling this way. And thankfully w/in a min. or two, he quieted down and fell back asleep (maybe he had a nightmare or something). But then I worry about his blankets b/c I know they're not on him...will he be cold...should I go in there and put them back on him? In the end I just leave it be and lay in bed trying to get back to sleep...with one eye open!
Well, when Colin was born I was bound and determined to keep him out of our bed (he wouldn't have fit in there anyways) so I sleep trained him from the beginning (something I'd never done w/Ryan b/c I didn't know I needed to). This was not easy and took 6 months before he finally settled down and slept through the night. The problem w/Colin was that he was borderline colicky/extremely fussy. It started 2 weeks after he was born. He never wanted to be put down for more than a few minutes so I couldn't get anything done...no cleaning, cooking...I was lucky to get a shower but it was always with a screaming Colin at the foot of the tub. He was just a very restless infant (still is today) who needed constant attention and couldn't stand to be alone. My neighbor had a baby boy the same time as I had Colin and he was exact opposite as Colin...easy going like you wouldn't believe...sometimes you wouldn't even notice him cause he was so quiet. She could put him on the floor and he'd lay there looking around for an hour and then fall asleep...this was never Colin. And nights with Colin were a total nightmare. For 6 months, I went to bed the same Colin did ever night b/c I never knew what our night might be like. 5 out of 7 nights were bad and exhausting. It wasn't so much that he was waking up and crying a ton...that wasn't really the problem. The problem was that trying to get him back down after nursing him was impossible. I'd nurse him for 1/2 hour (and I'd literally time this on my watch...15 min. each side) but could never put him right down afterwards. He'd be asleep but it was a restless sleep (he's always been a very restless child) and I could never put him down like that cause he'd wake up crying immediately. Instead, I'd have to rock him or sway back and forth until his body finally went limp...and this usually took 1/2 hour, so I'd be up with him for over an hour usually each time he woke up at night. It was the weirdest thing...he'd be asleep in my arms, but he'd be moving all over the place...kicking his legs, shrugging his shoulders, moving his head...it was crazy. And I relied heavily on routine during those days (still do). If I found one night that he went down ok after being limp for 10 minutes then literally I'd do it that way until it didn't work anymore. I counted 10 minutes in my head every night, several times a night when he was waking up multiples times to nurse. I couldn't use my watch cause of course the lights had to be off and I couldn't see it in the dark...so I had to count. It was crazy I know, but when you're desperate, you do crazy things. Remember how I used to time each side w/my watch? A few times I couldn't find my watch or it would drop on the floor and I'd just about freak out b/c it had to be exactly so many minutes per side (I nursed him w/the light on)...it was the only thing I could control during those days and if I lost it in any way, I'd freak until I got it back. Anyways, at 6 months, when he could finally sit up on his own and was eating solids, he finally slept through the night 7 days a week and he's been a GREAT night sleeper since (naps are a different story...another nightmare to this day...ask Julie).
But, when you've had a colicky baby, it literally leaves you mentally scarred and anytime your baby does something out of the ordinary it immediately brings you right back to those nightmarish days when there was no end in sight and you were beside yourself. It's been about 1.5 yrs since Colin and I braved through his first 6 months of life (and for me, I feel like we fought a battle together and won...prayer is the only thing that saved us) and you'd think by now I'd be mentally over those terribly difficult times. But, I'm not...I seriously have PTSD...it takes a huge toll on you. Every now and then Colin doesn't want to go into his crib at night and put himself to sleep...he wants me to rock him either to sleep or til he's really drowsy. And every now and then he'll wake up in the night and cry out...sometimes it's literally for a second and sometimes it lasts a minute or two. But whenever any of these things happen, my heart literally skips a beat (especially when it's the middle of the night). I can't help but think "oh no, are we going to have another sleepless night?" I know this isn't the case (that took me a while to figure out too), and that sometimes when he won't go down in his crib w/out being rocked that perhaps he just wants some snuggle time w/mommy. And I don't freak out as much as I used to about it, but I still get nervous. It happened just last night. Colin woke up at 3:39 am crying (really screaming) and I jumped up out of bed, ran to his door and just listened...literally praying to God that he'd work it out himself and I wouldn't have to go in there and get him back to sleep, b/c then I'm afraid that all our hard work getting him to sleep on his own would be ruined and we'd have to start all over...and I know this is ludicrous and not true, but I can't help feeling this way. And thankfully w/in a min. or two, he quieted down and fell back asleep (maybe he had a nightmare or something). But then I worry about his blankets b/c I know they're not on him...will he be cold...should I go in there and put them back on him? In the end I just leave it be and lay in bed trying to get back to sleep...with one eye open!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Learn My Lesson? Yeah Right!
It's been a while again. Can't seem to get this blogging thing into motion. It's been a hectic, messy and interesting last couple of days. Having a 22 month around the house is all 3 of those on a constant basis and you'd think I'd do all I can to to at least keep the messy part under control, right? This would mean keeping things that will result in a mess out of his reach and/or not giving him things like juice boxes which he just squeezes all over the place. But, even after having two children, I still haven't learned my lesson. It's super hard not giving your 22 month old juice boxes when big brother is sucking one down (he even squeezes them). Ideally I should just be mean mommy and refuse, but Colin has this particularly piercing scream when he doesn't get his way and then I just hand it over w/a wet paper towel w/in quick reach for the inevitable spillage coming out way.
So remember how I was saying I just don't seem to learn my lesson? Case in point...the other day I was in the shower and Colin was loose. He can easily get into my medicine cabinet due to a poorly designed garden tub that he can just climb up onto and easily push the cabinet open. I know this is the case...he's been doing it for a few months now. Getting into the deodorant, toothpaste, etc. The messes so far have been managable, but I should have known the big one was coming. So I get out of the shower and find Colin at the med cabinet but something doesn't look right or smell right. Then I see it...the mess!!! He'd poured out a whole bottle of rubbing alcohol, another bottle of nail polish remover, some hair gel, and a bottle of this anti-cellulite oily gel stuff...all over himself, the counter, the toothbrushes, the tub, floor, into the med cabinet, etc. Needless to say, I was not happy...and I was naked!!! Even though it was totally my fault for keeping these types of things at his reach, I still got mad at him. It was not one of my finest moments. Once I cleaned it up, cleaned Colin up (had to change his clothes), got myself dressed, etc., both Colin and I had calmed down. This was maybe 1/2 hr later. He's running around happy and playing and I was feeling horrible for getting mad at him, so I once again gave him a hug and apologized for getting mad at him when it was my fault. We had a really nice little moment together and all was well again...but not for long. Literally like 1 min. later, while I was gathering some clothes from Ryan's room (this took like 30 secs), Colin dumps 1/2 a bottle of bubble bath onto the other bathroom floor. Now, you'd think at this point I'd blow a gasket, right? Actually, I just had to laugh...what else could go wrong? Have you ever tried cleaning up spilled bubble bath? You HAVE to use water...but what does water do to bubble bath? BUBBLES!!!!! It was a huge mess. I forgot to mention that earlier that morning Colin had taken a black marker and drawn all over his legs...it was that kind of day.
All chaos and messes aside, the rest of the day went well :) I do have one beef to make about commercial business. We're used to being attacked by candy bars and magazines at the checkout stands at grocery stores, Walmart, Target and Kmart...no biggie, we deal with it. But, now you can't even go into a Petsmart or even FedEx/Kinko's w/out being bombarded w/candy. Yep, took my kids into FedEx/Kinko's the other day to pick up Ryan's b-day invitations and next thing I know, my kids are bringing up candy to me and begging for it. No wonder Americans are fat and broke!
So remember how I was saying I just don't seem to learn my lesson? Case in point...the other day I was in the shower and Colin was loose. He can easily get into my medicine cabinet due to a poorly designed garden tub that he can just climb up onto and easily push the cabinet open. I know this is the case...he's been doing it for a few months now. Getting into the deodorant, toothpaste, etc. The messes so far have been managable, but I should have known the big one was coming. So I get out of the shower and find Colin at the med cabinet but something doesn't look right or smell right. Then I see it...the mess!!! He'd poured out a whole bottle of rubbing alcohol, another bottle of nail polish remover, some hair gel, and a bottle of this anti-cellulite oily gel stuff...all over himself, the counter, the toothbrushes, the tub, floor, into the med cabinet, etc. Needless to say, I was not happy...and I was naked!!! Even though it was totally my fault for keeping these types of things at his reach, I still got mad at him. It was not one of my finest moments. Once I cleaned it up, cleaned Colin up (had to change his clothes), got myself dressed, etc., both Colin and I had calmed down. This was maybe 1/2 hr later. He's running around happy and playing and I was feeling horrible for getting mad at him, so I once again gave him a hug and apologized for getting mad at him when it was my fault. We had a really nice little moment together and all was well again...but not for long. Literally like 1 min. later, while I was gathering some clothes from Ryan's room (this took like 30 secs), Colin dumps 1/2 a bottle of bubble bath onto the other bathroom floor. Now, you'd think at this point I'd blow a gasket, right? Actually, I just had to laugh...what else could go wrong? Have you ever tried cleaning up spilled bubble bath? You HAVE to use water...but what does water do to bubble bath? BUBBLES!!!!! It was a huge mess. I forgot to mention that earlier that morning Colin had taken a black marker and drawn all over his legs...it was that kind of day.
All chaos and messes aside, the rest of the day went well :) I do have one beef to make about commercial business. We're used to being attacked by candy bars and magazines at the checkout stands at grocery stores, Walmart, Target and Kmart...no biggie, we deal with it. But, now you can't even go into a Petsmart or even FedEx/Kinko's w/out being bombarded w/candy. Yep, took my kids into FedEx/Kinko's the other day to pick up Ryan's b-day invitations and next thing I know, my kids are bringing up candy to me and begging for it. No wonder Americans are fat and broke!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Coach purses and potty humor...hmmm?
Gotta get Ryan up to bed but thought I'd add to the blog since it's been a couple of days. I am excited to report that I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a Coach purse. I've been denying myself for ages now and just decided that enough is enough...I deserve it! I know it's a luxury item and a bit selfish and materialistic on my part, but I NEVER buy anything nice for just myself, so I don't feel too bad about it. (A quick side note...my dog just farted and it freakin' WREAKS!!! He even got up and walked out of the kitchen...his own fart drove him away. I'm dying here...gag gag!!!) If I can figure out how, I'll upload some pics of my wonderful new purse.
Colin has come down with a cold...runny nose, minor cough, low grade fever. He's supposed to go to school tomorrow, so I hope he's much better in the a.m. I have to work there tomorrow and I've got no back up babysitter so...we'll see what happens. Ryan is really hitting it off with our new neighbor friend, Jacob and I couldn't be happier for him. They even wrestle each other in the grass...it's hilarious. They both LOVE toy guns and really enjoy playing cops and robbers, cowboys, and whatever else 5 year old boys play. I'm so glad I have boys...they're totally awesome and it's a good thing I grew up with 4 brothers. I can put up with all the potty humor and even enjoy it! My mother cringes when I let out a gigantic burp, or my brothers and I start exchanging our potty humor stories, but secretly I know she loves it...it's the Feeney way, through and through. What do you expect with 4 boys?
Ok, maybe that was TMI...sorry! Gotta run...getting too late for Ryan to still be up. Ta ta for now!
Colin has come down with a cold...runny nose, minor cough, low grade fever. He's supposed to go to school tomorrow, so I hope he's much better in the a.m. I have to work there tomorrow and I've got no back up babysitter so...we'll see what happens. Ryan is really hitting it off with our new neighbor friend, Jacob and I couldn't be happier for him. They even wrestle each other in the grass...it's hilarious. They both LOVE toy guns and really enjoy playing cops and robbers, cowboys, and whatever else 5 year old boys play. I'm so glad I have boys...they're totally awesome and it's a good thing I grew up with 4 brothers. I can put up with all the potty humor and even enjoy it! My mother cringes when I let out a gigantic burp, or my brothers and I start exchanging our potty humor stories, but secretly I know she loves it...it's the Feeney way, through and through. What do you expect with 4 boys?
Ok, maybe that was TMI...sorry! Gotta run...getting too late for Ryan to still be up. Ta ta for now!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
It's been a while...again
Well, last night I started writing a blog all about my bad day, which coincidentally was on 9/11 and really it was a stressful week. But, I started thinking about it and honestly, who cares about my bad day? When compared to the grief experienced by nearly 4000 families who lost loved ones on 9/11 and then all the families who've lost loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan...my day/week was a breeze. So instead of sharing my bad day with you, I'd like to take a few moments to reflect on 9/11 and the horrific and lifechanging events of that day.
Mike and I were living in California at the time and were just getting up for work. It must have been about 6 or 6:30 a.m. We had the radio on to our favorite morning show like we usually do, but for some reason that morning, the radio show wasn't playing. Instead it was some ABC radio news guy and he was talking about the world trade center being on fire b/c some airplane had hit it. It was really very confusing and for a few minutes I thought it was fake...like a "War of the Worlds" story...but why on Earth would they be doing that on my favorite morning radio show? Wasn't that something for am radio? I even asked Mike..."is this real?" and he too didn't know. Not long after getting up, my brother Johnny calls me and as soon as I saw his number on the caller i.d., I knew it was not fake. I think by then a second plane had hit and even the Pentagon was now on fire. When I heard about the Pentagon, that's when it really got scary for me. Not only b/c our families live there, but having grown up in NOVA, the Pentagon is one of those buildings that seems untouchable and I was shocked that it had been compromised. Plus, I'm married to a Marine so it felt even more personal and scary to me when they hit the Pentagon...and I knew then that at some point, Mike would be involved in some kind of war. When he joined the Marines in 1996, I honestly did not think he'd ever be involved in a conflict...boy was I wrong. And then the plane in Shanksville, PA...one after the other these things kept happening and it became more and more clear that we were obviously under attack...when would it end though?
I hurried up and got ready for work and watched in amazement and shock as the first WTC toppled. I thought nothing could be worse. Got into my car and made the 40 min. drive to Temecula where I was working and soon after I got there, the second WTC toppled. It was shocking and surreal and scary as hell. I remember driving to work that day and thinking it seemed so quiet here compared to NYC and the Pentagon where people were running everywhere and it was nothing but chaos...just like a big Hollywood summer blockbuster movie I'd pay $9 to see. I felt worlds away from our families...and of course I couldn't get a hold of anyone after I talked to Johnny. He called at the very beginning of it all before the lines basically froze up. I honestly can't remember when I finally talked to everyone back home.
I don't think Americans worked for a whole week after 9/11...everyday I'd go to work, but we'd do nothing. It just didn't even seem right to conduct business when so many were in pain and desperately trying to search for their loved ones who would never be found. And although they closed down all airspace in the US, Mike still flew his Cobra that week up to the Power Plant in San Clemente to make sure nobody was trying to attack it. I'm still in amazement whenever I think about the fact that all planes were grounded in the US for a week. National Airport was closed for 6 months...a ghost town I hear. So weird...
And even though we were not directly affected by the events of 9/11...meaning none of our loved ones or friends were hurt or killed that day, the events that would unfold and take place after 9/11 would directly affect us. Mike would soon fight a war in Iraq and we would lose a dear friend, Ben Sammis, to that war. I thought the first military funeral at Arlington Cemetary I'd go to would be my grandfather's. Instead I attended Ben's funeral in April 2003...it was heart wrenching, maddening, surreal, and beautiful. His wife, Stacey, is still a good friend of mine and has found new love and is remarried. I am so happy for her and hope that she and Rob are able to start a family soon.
We would be blessed with our children, Ryan and Colin, after 9/11...2003 and 2006. They of course have no idea what happened that day but when the time comes for them to know, I'll make sure the facts come from us and not w/in the pages of their history books from school. We all know how those books tend to skew history. And I'm so relieved that we've not been attacked since then...and people can say whatever they want about Bush, but it is a FACT that since 9/11, we've not had one attack against us here in the U.S...and that is comforting and reassurring. Quite frankly, if Obama is elected, fear just may creep back into our lives.
Unfortunately, we've all gone on w/our lives and America has forgotten...even myself I am ashamed to say. It's something we should remember all the time...not just on the anniversary. We seemed so united as a country for a while after 9/11, but now, we seem more divided than ever and it's really sad. It's ridiculous that the Republicans and Dems had a truce on Thursday for ONE day...and then the next day it was back to hate. What good is that...the truce is fake...just a photo op...and Americans know this and quite frankly I hope it pisses them off like it does me.
That day was the worst day of all of our lives...and so much worse for the victims. I pray for all the families that they are coping well and having success. And I pray for Americans that we actually NEVER FORGET!!!!
Mike and I were living in California at the time and were just getting up for work. It must have been about 6 or 6:30 a.m. We had the radio on to our favorite morning show like we usually do, but for some reason that morning, the radio show wasn't playing. Instead it was some ABC radio news guy and he was talking about the world trade center being on fire b/c some airplane had hit it. It was really very confusing and for a few minutes I thought it was fake...like a "War of the Worlds" story...but why on Earth would they be doing that on my favorite morning radio show? Wasn't that something for am radio? I even asked Mike..."is this real?" and he too didn't know. Not long after getting up, my brother Johnny calls me and as soon as I saw his number on the caller i.d., I knew it was not fake. I think by then a second plane had hit and even the Pentagon was now on fire. When I heard about the Pentagon, that's when it really got scary for me. Not only b/c our families live there, but having grown up in NOVA, the Pentagon is one of those buildings that seems untouchable and I was shocked that it had been compromised. Plus, I'm married to a Marine so it felt even more personal and scary to me when they hit the Pentagon...and I knew then that at some point, Mike would be involved in some kind of war. When he joined the Marines in 1996, I honestly did not think he'd ever be involved in a conflict...boy was I wrong. And then the plane in Shanksville, PA...one after the other these things kept happening and it became more and more clear that we were obviously under attack...when would it end though?
I hurried up and got ready for work and watched in amazement and shock as the first WTC toppled. I thought nothing could be worse. Got into my car and made the 40 min. drive to Temecula where I was working and soon after I got there, the second WTC toppled. It was shocking and surreal and scary as hell. I remember driving to work that day and thinking it seemed so quiet here compared to NYC and the Pentagon where people were running everywhere and it was nothing but chaos...just like a big Hollywood summer blockbuster movie I'd pay $9 to see. I felt worlds away from our families...and of course I couldn't get a hold of anyone after I talked to Johnny. He called at the very beginning of it all before the lines basically froze up. I honestly can't remember when I finally talked to everyone back home.
I don't think Americans worked for a whole week after 9/11...everyday I'd go to work, but we'd do nothing. It just didn't even seem right to conduct business when so many were in pain and desperately trying to search for their loved ones who would never be found. And although they closed down all airspace in the US, Mike still flew his Cobra that week up to the Power Plant in San Clemente to make sure nobody was trying to attack it. I'm still in amazement whenever I think about the fact that all planes were grounded in the US for a week. National Airport was closed for 6 months...a ghost town I hear. So weird...
And even though we were not directly affected by the events of 9/11...meaning none of our loved ones or friends were hurt or killed that day, the events that would unfold and take place after 9/11 would directly affect us. Mike would soon fight a war in Iraq and we would lose a dear friend, Ben Sammis, to that war. I thought the first military funeral at Arlington Cemetary I'd go to would be my grandfather's. Instead I attended Ben's funeral in April 2003...it was heart wrenching, maddening, surreal, and beautiful. His wife, Stacey, is still a good friend of mine and has found new love and is remarried. I am so happy for her and hope that she and Rob are able to start a family soon.
We would be blessed with our children, Ryan and Colin, after 9/11...2003 and 2006. They of course have no idea what happened that day but when the time comes for them to know, I'll make sure the facts come from us and not w/in the pages of their history books from school. We all know how those books tend to skew history. And I'm so relieved that we've not been attacked since then...and people can say whatever they want about Bush, but it is a FACT that since 9/11, we've not had one attack against us here in the U.S...and that is comforting and reassurring. Quite frankly, if Obama is elected, fear just may creep back into our lives.
Unfortunately, we've all gone on w/our lives and America has forgotten...even myself I am ashamed to say. It's something we should remember all the time...not just on the anniversary. We seemed so united as a country for a while after 9/11, but now, we seem more divided than ever and it's really sad. It's ridiculous that the Republicans and Dems had a truce on Thursday for ONE day...and then the next day it was back to hate. What good is that...the truce is fake...just a photo op...and Americans know this and quite frankly I hope it pisses them off like it does me.
That day was the worst day of all of our lives...and so much worse for the victims. I pray for all the families that they are coping well and having success. And I pray for Americans that we actually NEVER FORGET!!!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
It's Been a While
Well, I can't blame my lack of blogging due to memory loss...I've just been busy! Ryan started school yesterday (pre-k) and our mornings are back to being rushed. I myself am getting up earlier than everyone else for some much needed quiet time (although this morning Colin decided to join me...how in the he_ _ did he wake up a good hour before he normally does? Just my luck!). His first day went well and it's such a relief as last week at the open house he was being quite shy and even yesterday morning when I was dropping him off he didn't want to sit down at the table and do the little coloring assignment his teacher had the kids doing. But, he reluctantly gave in and I got him to sit down and do it and as I was leaving the classroom, I heard him say something (although I don't recall what) in a happy tone of voice...so that was good. And his teacher said he was fine all day! And today is supposed to be Colin's first day but I've not gotten back his health form from his doctor so I don't think I'll be able to take him...I got an email last week from the Director of the preschool saying if they didn't have health forms, your child couldn't begin until they do. So I guess he'll be going to the gym with me :)
Honestly, I'm a little weary about having Colin in school...I have mixed feelings about it. I know he'd enjoy himself and it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing for him, but am I rushing the whole school thing? And I'm afraid his nap will get wiped out too...with Ryan going M-TH already, his nap time has been pushed to 1:30 and the last two days, he's not gone down...Sunday b/c he fell asleep in the car and didn't transfer into the house (woke up...and grumpy too) and then yesterday, I got him down (asleep of course) but w/in a minute or so, he was up crying and that was it...no trying to get him back down. Maybe it explains why he was up early this morning...his sleep schedule is all messed up.
Speaking of sleep schedules, somehow he's still not getting to sleep until about 9:30-10 and having to get up at 7:45 a.m. Yesterday he was really tired and didn't want to eat breakfast then around 4:30, he was pretty grumpy. I hate what we've done to Ryan in regards to his sleeping. He was never a regular napper (and this was my fault b/c I didn't know I had to sleep train him...I thought would come naturally...which is why Colin was sleep trained) and has always been in the bed w/us and so he's never learned to put himself to sleep and he's going on 5 yrs old and the kid still can't sleep alone or go to sleep by himself. So this means one of us has to lay there w/him until he falls asleep and then try to sneak away. We kind of gave up on this b/c he was waking up w/in 1-1.5 hrs. into his sleep crying b/c he was alone. So, instead of sneaking away, we (more like I) would just go to bed w/him....sometimes this would be early (if I myself was ready for bed) but most of the time it would be late b/c he'd be downstairs watching tv with us. So his bedtime is usually about 10-10:30...unacceptable for a 5 yr old! I've gotta get a grip on this!
Well, my dishwasher is in...thanks to Dad, Bill and Mike and I couldn't be happier. Although, I haven't actually done a load yet...still waiting for it to fill up...today will be the day though so I'll let ya know how it goes! I'm so glad to have gotten rid of that nasty, mold smelling dishwasher that was there previously!
Ok, all for now...time to make breakfast, pack lunches, get dressed, etc., etc.,
Honestly, I'm a little weary about having Colin in school...I have mixed feelings about it. I know he'd enjoy himself and it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing for him, but am I rushing the whole school thing? And I'm afraid his nap will get wiped out too...with Ryan going M-TH already, his nap time has been pushed to 1:30 and the last two days, he's not gone down...Sunday b/c he fell asleep in the car and didn't transfer into the house (woke up...and grumpy too) and then yesterday, I got him down (asleep of course) but w/in a minute or so, he was up crying and that was it...no trying to get him back down. Maybe it explains why he was up early this morning...his sleep schedule is all messed up.
Speaking of sleep schedules, somehow he's still not getting to sleep until about 9:30-10 and having to get up at 7:45 a.m. Yesterday he was really tired and didn't want to eat breakfast then around 4:30, he was pretty grumpy. I hate what we've done to Ryan in regards to his sleeping. He was never a regular napper (and this was my fault b/c I didn't know I had to sleep train him...I thought would come naturally...which is why Colin was sleep trained) and has always been in the bed w/us and so he's never learned to put himself to sleep and he's going on 5 yrs old and the kid still can't sleep alone or go to sleep by himself. So this means one of us has to lay there w/him until he falls asleep and then try to sneak away. We kind of gave up on this b/c he was waking up w/in 1-1.5 hrs. into his sleep crying b/c he was alone. So, instead of sneaking away, we (more like I) would just go to bed w/him....sometimes this would be early (if I myself was ready for bed) but most of the time it would be late b/c he'd be downstairs watching tv with us. So his bedtime is usually about 10-10:30...unacceptable for a 5 yr old! I've gotta get a grip on this!
Well, my dishwasher is in...thanks to Dad, Bill and Mike and I couldn't be happier. Although, I haven't actually done a load yet...still waiting for it to fill up...today will be the day though so I'll let ya know how it goes! I'm so glad to have gotten rid of that nasty, mold smelling dishwasher that was there previously!
Ok, all for now...time to make breakfast, pack lunches, get dressed, etc., etc.,
Friday, September 5, 2008
Amazing How A Few Days Can Dilute Your Brain!
Well, I've just been reminded by my sister-n-law, Julie, to write on my blog...it's only been a few short days since I last wrote something and I already forgot I'd started the blog...LOL :) So I went to my site to post something new and had already forgotten how to do that. So Julie reminded me, but then I forgot the password I'd created a few days ago! Ugh...how does my brain get so diluted after just a few days? Ok, so I remembered my pw rather quickly, but still...this is ridiculous!
Ok, so what's going on around here? Well, my dishwasher (the right one) arrived today and b/c we didn't pay to have it installed, I'm sure it'll sit in my kitchen within the confines of its cardboard box for days before anyone touches it! Granted my husband is out of town, but even if he weren't, it's not a given we'd have it installed quickly. Neither of us have done such a thing before so it'll be trial and error...I see lots of leaks in our future!
Going to mom & dad's today after Colin wakes up from his nap...hopefully it'll be longer than 37 minutes :) I usually camp out there when Mike's gone...may as well take advantage of having them here before we're gone again. I also like to cook when I'm down there b/c I can really concentrate on what I'm doing, while at home I've got Colin at my ankles or on my hip and cooking can be quite challenging and even dangerous. But mom's pretty good at distracting them so I can make everyone a really yummy meal. Tonight I think it's "King Ranch Chicken". Tomorrow is supposed to rain all day so I'll do something really comforting and Dad has to work all day, so he'll appreciate that!
Need to finish picking up the rest of the kids school supplies this weekend. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff they need...just for preschool. Ryan is considerably more than Colin cause he's in pre-k, but it still astonishes me the list we're given...especially when it says "10 glue sticks"...what the heck is that. And none of this stuff even belongs to them...doesn't go into a little bin labeled w/their name....NOOOO...OOOHH!!!! Nowadays everything's put together for everyone to "share." I guess this is ok, but is it not ok for anyone to have their "own" belongings anymore? Honestly, this is just another product of the crazy society we live in. Not allowed to put emphasis on individuals (unless it's the Olympics) anymore for fear this will hurt everyone else's feelings. Like how everyone gets trophies now instead of just the winners. I guess this is ok for the younger kiddos, but I hope to God they're not still doing this as the kids get older when they need to suck it up if they've lost and try harder next time. What kind of message are we sending our kids when they're told that everyone is equal? Skin color wise, that is true, but for everything else, it's blatantly FALSE!
Ok, I could go on and on and on, but I'd begin to bore myself. Signing off for now. Hopefully I won't forget to blog...although won't be over the weekend as Mom's computer has a virus and isn't working...bummer! Ta ta for now!
Ok, so what's going on around here? Well, my dishwasher (the right one) arrived today and b/c we didn't pay to have it installed, I'm sure it'll sit in my kitchen within the confines of its cardboard box for days before anyone touches it! Granted my husband is out of town, but even if he weren't, it's not a given we'd have it installed quickly. Neither of us have done such a thing before so it'll be trial and error...I see lots of leaks in our future!
Going to mom & dad's today after Colin wakes up from his nap...hopefully it'll be longer than 37 minutes :) I usually camp out there when Mike's gone...may as well take advantage of having them here before we're gone again. I also like to cook when I'm down there b/c I can really concentrate on what I'm doing, while at home I've got Colin at my ankles or on my hip and cooking can be quite challenging and even dangerous. But mom's pretty good at distracting them so I can make everyone a really yummy meal. Tonight I think it's "King Ranch Chicken". Tomorrow is supposed to rain all day so I'll do something really comforting and Dad has to work all day, so he'll appreciate that!
Need to finish picking up the rest of the kids school supplies this weekend. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff they need...just for preschool. Ryan is considerably more than Colin cause he's in pre-k, but it still astonishes me the list we're given...especially when it says "10 glue sticks"...what the heck is that. And none of this stuff even belongs to them...doesn't go into a little bin labeled w/their name....NOOOO...OOOHH!!!! Nowadays everything's put together for everyone to "share." I guess this is ok, but is it not ok for anyone to have their "own" belongings anymore? Honestly, this is just another product of the crazy society we live in. Not allowed to put emphasis on individuals (unless it's the Olympics) anymore for fear this will hurt everyone else's feelings. Like how everyone gets trophies now instead of just the winners. I guess this is ok for the younger kiddos, but I hope to God they're not still doing this as the kids get older when they need to suck it up if they've lost and try harder next time. What kind of message are we sending our kids when they're told that everyone is equal? Skin color wise, that is true, but for everything else, it's blatantly FALSE!
Ok, I could go on and on and on, but I'd begin to bore myself. Signing off for now. Hopefully I won't forget to blog...although won't be over the weekend as Mom's computer has a virus and isn't working...bummer! Ta ta for now!
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